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When I find a good joke or story, I'll put it here! Feel free to send me yours!
Been to Frankfurt Before?
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short tempered lot, they not only expected you to
know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a
Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (Speedbird)
Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate.
The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?!"
Speedbird: "Standby ground, I'm looking up the gate location now.
Ground (with typical German patience): "Speedbird, have you never been to Frankfurt before?!"
Speedbird (coolly): "Yes, in 1944, but I didn't stop."
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During class the skydiving instructor would take time to answer any First Timer Questions. One guy asked: If our chute
doesn't open and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have til we hit the ground? The jump master looked at him and in
perfect deadpan answered: The rest of your life.
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What's the difference between God and pilots? God doesn't think he's a pilot.
Airspeed, altitude, or brains; you always need at least two.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
What do you call a pregnant flight attendant? Pilot error.
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Hot Shot Pilot
A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a
nuisance, acting like
a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said
over the air, "Anything you can do, I can
do better."
The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot."
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down two engines, kid."
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